For many years I was convinced that I was abnormal. Surely I was the only person in the world to experience such strange, bizarre fantasies? It was my little guilty secret that I admitted only to myself, in the dark of night when alone in bed. Such a shameful and ignominious fascination had no place in the light of day and was firmly suppressed until the night ruled once more and my repressed fantasies could be given the freedom to express themselves again.
What was this weird, eccentric fetish of which I was so ashamed, yet also secretly captivated? The answer was simply my fascination with spanking. My ultimate dream was to have a man who would love me, cherish me, protect me but also spank me. I would visualize myself over his knee having my helpless bottom soundly spanked and I would hug myself with delight finding the whole fantasy exciting and strangely arousing.
But where would I find this man who would love me enough to set firm boundaries and put me over his knee when I dared to cross them? Would most men not find such a practice just a little archaic if not outright draconian?
And then I met Jason. On our very first date he threatened me with a spanking which sent shivers of delight coursing through my body and had my bottom tingling with anticipation. But much to my disappointment he failed to follow through with his threat and my bottom remained unspanked throughout our courtship. He continued to warn me that I was heading for a spanking and I would laugh at him, not believing that he would ever actually do it.
About two months into our marriage I discovered that my husband was a man of his word and found myself bottom up over his knee and on the receiving end of a serious, and I mean serious bare bottomspanking! To my shocked surprise I found that I did not enjoy the experience at all. In fact it was exceedingly painful and my bottom remained sore for days. So why then did I feel excited every time I recalled that over the knee time that I had had, with Jason's very hard hand delivering a long and hard spanking to my very tender buttocks? I realised that it was the idea of a spanking that I found so thrilling and not the actual event itself. I associated the sting of his hand on my bottom with love and security. For me, love was the key to me submitting to domestic discipline.
Jason does not spank me often, at least not seriously. Probably far less than I deserve. But when he does, he makes sure that I feel and remember each smack whether he uses his hand, the paddle or a very old-fashioned and sturdy ruler which is reserved for when I have been particularly bad.
I have subsequently discovered, much to my amazement, that I am neither weird, eccentric, mad or perverted to have engaged in my spanking fantasies. Spanking is much more common than I had realised although most people won't admit to it, of course.
One thing I know for sure is that my husband loves me and however many spankings he gives me, I will always love him.
The Bible is very clear about wives being submissive to their husbands:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
And if that includes a bare bottom spanking, so be it!